Amadare Blues

Tito wouldn’t cosplay with me for AF. And it’s very probable that Kabu neither (because she’s going with her best costume to date for the yamato cosplay cup competition… she already won a contest on the US with that costume so i’m completely sure that she will win one of the vacants for the finals, that are the same day of the sexy cosplay, the categorie we were competing for (tito as kittan, kabu as kamina, vero as simon and me as yoko)

Now, i don’t have any cheers to finish my yoko. My tummy don’t dissapears, I don’t have any time to order the hair for my extension and in december the mail becomes weird as hell. I have the bra, the gun, the belt and in nov. 30th. my bots will be ready. Also my hotpants aren on the way. But i don’t feel confident about my body, and i really don’t want to participate alone

(if you want to read abut my loser thinks and my sickness and all, then press on the “read more” link, then, just leave, is tl;dr, a lot of whynning and everything that’s not cool. It’s you decision) (as if somebody readed this blog…)

My medication isn’t working and i’m feeling hungry everytime again. That PSU thing is getting me crazy… and i don’t want to go to the psychologist again becaause i’m scared of going again (i hate going to psychologyst because she makes all my fears apper in front of me and i can’t do nothing to help that, only being scared and cry a lot…) I’m scared too because i’m feeling depressed and i don’t have any reason to be depressed right now. Maybe it’s because i’m sure that i will fail on the PSU, and maybe i couldn’t enter to the career i want… being a cronical anxious isn’t really a good thing… being scared of things that will never happen and don’t doing nothing because i’m scared to hell of failing on doing everything.

Sometimes i think seriously on taking a 9mm aspirin, become an hero, etc… but… i’m also scared about that!